Exactly two months ago, I was on a plane headed to Taipei, Taiwan. It would be my first time overseas and I was nervous and excited and definitely scared.
And now I’d like to share a little confession with you. All of my life, I believed that overseas missionary work wasn’t the thing for me. It was always a dream of mine to travel and experience new things but to live in a foreign country…that was a whole other story. Yeah, I’m a Cross-Cultural Business major…but a part of me still never believed that I could be overseas doing work for the Lord. That is, until now.
Two months ago, I went to Taiwan solely to fulfill my internship requirements for graduation. Before my trip, I was ready to just get my degree, settle down with my boyfriend, and serve the church here in the states. I wouldn’t be one of those missionaries who dropped everything and went overseas. No…I was more comfortable just staying here and sending people out. I just didn’t think that I fit in that situation or environment, especially with my introverted personality. I wanted to go on this trip so that God could confirm to me that being overseas wasn’t for me. I went already expecting Him to reveal and say that I wasn’t made to be overseas. I was telling people that I hoped God would speak to me during my time in Taiwan and that I would see if missionary work was for me or not but really, I had already decided in my mind that it wasn’t. So God took that selfishness in me and said, “Watch me work.”
Instead of hearing God say, “You’re right. Overseas work isn’t the thing for you,” I heard Him say, “I can use you in any place or situation.” Instead of making me long for the comfort of home in the states, He gave me a new place to call home…a new place to love. He showed me what faith and trust and hope really looked liked and now, I’m forever changed.
I’m teetering on many different decisions now. A part of me longs so much to be back in Taiwan now that I know that overseas work is something that I can do for the rest of my life. And another part of me is okay with staying in the states with the ones who have loved and supported me for so long here. Ahhh…I have so many feels…so many emotions running through me right now. I wish I knew the answer…I wish God would just tell me which one I should go for. But since I can’t fully know, I simply need to trust. And have faith that God will work out what He will.